I dare you..

So, things have been crazy these past few days. Chris has had a bad stomach bug and I have been fortunate enough (knock on wood) not to get it. He is doing better but he just feels very weak. I saw three movies this weekend, along with the Oscars. I watched "Gone Baby Gone", "We Own the Night" and "Good Luck Chuck". I have discovered that I am just in love with Mark Wahlberg! He is very good looking. But all of the movies were very good. I think out of all three, "We Own the Night" was my favorite. I like the whole bad person - turned good. Again, something about Joaquin Phoenix doesn't hurt either. Here's something you may not know. Casey Affleck (Ben Affleck's younger brother) is married to Joaquin Phoenix's sister, Summer. Both Joaquin and Summer are siblings of the late River Phoenix.

Anyway, I found this clip that has nothing to do with the above. I dare you not to laugh at it. There is no way you won't even crack a smile.

Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine. It is my favorite thing in the world. It’s one reason that I love Chris. He and I can easily make each other laugh and we also have the same sense of humor.

I really enjoy making people laugh. I have a co-worker that whenever she is mad, aggrivated or upset in anyway I can make her laugh. It's just a gift that I have. I'm no Dane Cook or Jim Gaffigan. I love people who have a very dry/witty sense of humor. People who don't think they're funny are the best.

I remember when I was in 4th grade, I would sit and think of jokes and tell them to my grandfather, Poppa. I made up one that I thought was so awesome so I decided to try it out. So, next time I saw him, I said, "Hey Poppa! What is George Washington's favorite flavor of Kool-Aid" and he wouldn't know. I would yell back "CHERRY!!". He would chuckle and then "boo" me. Yes, my own grandfather "boo'd" me. I thought that he thought it was funny. My brother probably said it was stupid but I thought it was genius!! Why? Well duh! George Washington chopped down the cherry tree! He liked cherry Kool-Aid! Ok, not funny at all. In fact, it is kind of dumb. But at the age of 8 (or whatever age a 4th grader is), all I knew is that it made him kind of chuckle. Not laugh, but chuckle. From that moment on, whenever I saw my grandfather on, he would ask if I had made up any more jokes. I would say "No" and then tell him the GW one. Next time I see him, I'll ask him if he remembers that. He's 92, so if he doesn't, I won't hold it against him.

Lately, I’ve been having brain farts. Searching for a subject to write about. Just nothing. I just decided that from time to time, I’m going to post some clips of things that make me laugh. So here's one:

Blizzard Man

Cereal

First of all, I must start out with the fact that this subject must be credited to Amy. If it weren’t for her, I’d be stuck on Apple Jacks (YUM) or Fruit Loops (MMMMMM).

I love cereal. It’s my favorite meal. I used to not love it and I’ll tell you when my obsession started. A few years ago, I decided to give up chocolate for Lent. I’m not Catholic, but I just wanted to see if I could do it. It was sort of a matter of “principalities”. Crazy as it sounds, I actually stuck with it. Not once piece of cocoa hit my lips that entire time. Anyway, Amy told me that when she gave up sweets that she would eat cereal if she was just absolutely dying. I asked what kind and it just sky-rocketed from there.

I started out eating Frosted Flakes and Raisin Bran Crunch. However, it is usually the store brand. I like the Bruno’s Raisin Bran Crunch better than Kellogg’s. I ate Heart Smart (or maybe it was brain fart, because that’s what I’m having right now) when I had my trainer. Corn Flakes are ok and Special K. is just, ehhh. Then I tried Frosted Mini-Wheats. From there, I found my new favorite cereal for the past year: Bite Size Strawberry Delight. I’ve tried the other flavors but none can compare. I ate so much of it, that well, I had to cut back to every other day. I’ll leave it at that.

Two months ago, I made an even better discovery. It took some time to get used to but now I can’t stop. Malt-O-Meal makes a cheap version called “Strawberry Cream Mini-Spooners”. Ooooh it’s so GOOD!! For like $4.00, I get a gigantic bag, instead of paying $3.50(ish) for a box that lasts about 3-4 bowl fulls. Oh I love you Malt-O-Meal. Oh and here’s a kicker - I JUST FOUND A COUPON. Watch out M.O.M., because I’m coming after you!!

The story of Bibi

Growing up, I always wanted a cat. But my dad hates cats so there went that dream. About 6 or 7 years ago, my mom and I were on the phone one day and she told me about a couple in their Sunday School class that found some kittens. There were 3 that walked up to their door step. If I was interested, she would give me their phone number. At the time, I was living with my friend Carrie at her mom’s house. We had the bottom part as an apartment so it was like we had one - only not. They already had several animals so when I told Carrie about the kittens, we just secretly decided to go look. I mean, they may be ugly and we don’t like them.

We get to the house and the kittens are in the bathroom. One is sound asleep, one is injured and one is running around like crazy. I mean like the definition of the word “frisky”. I looked at him & fell in love. I looked at Carrie and said “I want him” and next thing you know, we’re walking out the door with this tiny fur ball. In the car, we come up with a great story to tell her mom. Here it is: We went to the Summit to eat dinner. When we came back to the car, it was raining (which was true) and we found the kitten underneath the car. He had no tag and was shivering so we took him. The other part of the story is that I would claim the cat. That way, her mom wouldn’t get mad at her for bringing in another animal. So we get home & she falls for the story and I now have a cat. Later, we did confess the truth to her mom.

At first, Bibi’s name was “Rambo Bigglesworth”. Rambo because he was so rambunctious and Bigglesworth for my love of Austin Powers. However, he was the baby of all the pets and somehow the word “Baby” got turned to “Bibi”. I don’t get it either. It is not spelled “BeeBee” or “B.B”. It is spelled different because I do NOT like to follow the norm. If you want me to go left, I go right. Figuratively, of course. There is a restaurant called CiCi’s pizza and that’s where the spelling came from. You better recognize.

I was so obsessed with Bibi. Quite frankly, I still am. The first day, I kept calling Carrie throughout the day to find out what his little two pound behind was doing. It was crazy. Bibi got to a point where he curled up next to me at night. To this day, he gets on the bed and I have to lay a certain way at first or he will meow & sit & stare at me.

Bibi has run away a few times & each time it makes me cry my eyes out. The first time was when Carrie & I lived in an actual apartment across from this ice plant. She called me one day saying he ran away. I scream at her to go look at her & don’t call me until she’s found him. I hang up and cry at my desk. Ten minutes later, she found him in an ice bin across the street. Go figure. The second time, was when I was living with mom & dad. I moved back home because things between Carrie & I weren’t working out. (We have since squashed that beef) Mom calls me because the basement door wasn’t closed good & the garage door was left open. The whole way home, I cry my eyes out. My dad drove all over the neighborhood in the pouring rain looking for him. He finally just wondered home & looked like a drowned rat, five minutes after I got home. The third time was just a few months ago. He somehow got out of our apartment. I am getting my haircut and Chris calls to tell me he can’t find Bibi. I freaked out. For the next three days, I can’t stop crying and wondering around looking for Bibi. I know I looked crazy. A week later, Chris suggest that I put up a “Lost” sign at the apartment mailboxes. I did and sure enough, this woman calls me and says he’s been camped out for days at her house.

I love Bibi. He is a very sweet cat. Whenever he passes, I don’t see myself with another cat because it will have a huge legacy to live up to. I don’t know. I have high expectations for my domesticated animals. I guess I just have good pets. But no matter what, Bibi is number one in my book.

Heart Day

Do you remember Valentine’s Day in elementary school? We moved around a lot, but it was always the same for everybody. We decorated bags that were taped to the front of our desk. There was a party with sugary goodness. Probably around 1:00 or so, we all passed out our Valentine’s to everybody. I remember how we would get a list and you either had to bring one for everybody or nobody. Which there was always somebody in my class that I didn’t like. Surprise I know. So I would sort out my Garfield Valentine’s with my list. I made piles of cards that I loved, liked and thought were ugly. So if I didn’t like you, you got a card that I thought was ugly and I just scribbled “Susan” on the back. I’m pretty sure that the person didn’t know that, but I did. That’s all that mattered. I knew you were getting the ugly card. On the flip side, I always picked the cute boy in the class and drew a big heart on the back. Right, cause my big heart gave him a big signal that I had a crush on him.

So Happy Valentine’s Day to you and to my sweet husband. Eat lots of chocolate today - I know I am!

When I'm tired of the others

Ok so I visit a ton of celebrity gossip sites and it gets to a point that I read the same story over & over again. Britney’s crazy antics. (Celebrity of choice) is pregnant or rumored to be pregnant. Ten minutes later: (Celebrity of choice) isn’t pregnant. Britney’s crazy antics. You know, the latest crap that intrigues me. So at some point, I need just funny websites about nothing.

Sidebar: Typing the word nothing just made me think of The Neverending Story and “The Nothing”. What a classic and cheesy movie. It’s amazing how one word can remind me of a movie. Random words make me think of random things. But I remember watching that movie & how it freaked me out but I watched it all the time!! Everything creeped me out except for Falcor - but it should have. In my 8 year old mind, he was a sweet dog in a movie of scary creatures. That & he got back at those kids that were being mean at the end!! I was 8!!! Why did I watch it? Probably because my mom made me. JUST like she made me ride the Tilt-A-Whirl at every amusement park we went to because she thought I liked it. But I’m not bitter.

Here are two websites I visit often because they tickle my fancy. It doesn’t take much for me to be entertained.
Stuff on my mutt
Stuff on my cat

No, No, No!

Not sure if you watched the Grammy’s on Sunday. Yes, I’m a day late and a dollar short but I wasn’t feeling well yesterday. Anyway, the train wreck that is Amy Winehouse wasn’t as bad as I thought. The shout out to her incarcerated husband was odd, but so was the performance by Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard. Yikes. Amy is so intriguing to me. Despite the crazy bee-hive, cat like eye liner and dirty ballet slippers, I am very interested. I don’t know why. I think it’s the concept that I want her to want to get better. Unlike Ms. Spears, Amy Winehouse has talent. She is not over produced. I have her album and have watched her do some acoustic performances. They are really different but in a good way.

Having said that, I have a problem with something I read / heard yesterday. Amy won 5 Grammy awards on Sunday and evidently Natalie Cole had this to say:

“I don't think she should have won. I think it sends a bad message to our young people who are trying to get into this business, the ones who are trying to do it right and really trying to keep themselves together". "We have to stop rewarding bad behavior." "I mean, she could die. This isn't something that's cute and fun just to throw around in the press. The girl really has a problem, and I think for those of us who have been in the business long enough, we know the sacrifice it takes. This is about discipline and hard work, and you don't get to just do your drugs and go onstage and get rewarded."

WOAH!!!! I have a new nickname for you, Natalie Cole and it is “Hatealie Cole”. Girlfriend, you are HATING on Amy Winehouse. Last time I checked, the Grammy is not an award for what an artist accomplishes in their personal life. I could maybe…possibly understand where Natalie is coming from if Amy recorded the album while on drugs. However, that is not a proven fact. I think Hatealie is jealous because Amy came onto the scene within this past year and won 5 awards. It took Hatealie a few years. I don’t know but I really disagree with her. Nobody was saying “You did a great job on drugs” by giving Amy an award. No!! In fact, it is defined as “A service mark used for any of the statuettes awarded by the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences for excellence in the recording industry.” Hey, Hatealie, you might want to read that over and over again. It drives me CRAZY when celebrities get on a soap box about something that they have no business talking about. Why does she even care? Another fact that I checked is that she is not God and has no right to judge. So step off!!

My friend Amy’s (no, not Winehouse) husband, Adam, has a great saying. Whenever someone is hating on another person, he will hold his hand up in their face and say something to the effect of “This is a mirror and this is the face of hate”. I have seen the mirror plenty of times. In my humble opinion, Hatalie needs to see the mirror.

My addiction

I have a confession. Ever since I can remember, I have been addicted to something. If you know me, you know exactly what it is. I don't go one day without it. I mean not one single day. At some point in my day, something in my brain says "I need it". I start to get lightheaded. I get the shakes. I have hallucinations and can't control myself. Well, that last bit (or the whole part) was very exaggerated. Ok...here is what I cannot go one day without:



I love chocolate. I love dark chocolate and milk chocolate. Chris makes so much fun of me and doesn't understand it. He just knows I'm obsessed with it. While I love chocolate, I think I'm just obsessed with dessert. It's closure to my meal. If I don't have some kind of dessert, I feel weird. Like I'm walking around with toilet paper on my shoe. It's just weird. Sure, I'll eat apple or peach cobbler but usually my dessert has chocolate involved.

You know how you go out with friends and family and you eat dessert? Oh, you've eaten too much so perhaps you want to split something. Not me. I don't ever want to split it, but sometimes I will to be curteous to someone who does. Here's another confession. Whenever the waiter/waitress says "Would you care for any dessert", I always look down and say nothing and let the other person say "No, thank you". I might put on an act like "oh I could never eat any dessert" and I'll eat something sweet when I get home. Who wants to look like a Fatty McGee by being the only person who wants dessert? Well, certainly not me!!

I've never been to full for dessert. I will never say the following phrase: "This is too rich/sweet. I can't eat any more". Never will you ever hear me say that. If you and I are eating together and you say that horrible statement, I might go "Mmmm hmmm" but that really means "shhhh, I'm enjoying my dessert". I just need therapy for my chocolate/dessert obsession.

Anytime I go to a place like Golden Corral, I have a certain pattern. I eat a decent size salad. Funny thing about that is that my salads are really healthy. I don't eat one piece of lettuce and then 5 pounds of ranch dressing. Side note: I don't like ranch. I should be kicked out the south, I know. Anyway, I eat salad and then maybe some green beans and slice of chicken/ham or meat product of some type. Then, it's on to the dessert portion. I'll eat the yogurt that turns to soup by the time I get to my table with everything piled on top. I'll go back twice to get my fill of dessert-like goodness.

My catch phrase in life is this: "Life is uncertain, eat dessert first". So go ahead and eat that piece of chocolate because if you don't, I will.

The latest

Sorry it’s been a few days, I’ve been busy. I went out Friday and saw 27 Dresses. It was so cute. Whenever I see a movie, I have my own rating system which is either I will own it or I won’t. Definitely will own this movie. Chris will NEVER watch it. It was a typical chick flick and nothing masculine about it. But the one thing that made me bust out laughing was this line “I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.” That is one of the best lines I’ve heard from a movie in a while.

I saw a trailer for a movie I want to see, called Semi-Pro. Andre 3000, you are a sell out but I love you anyway!! Will Ferrell is just silly!!!!

This weekend was pretty mellow. Well, except for the SuperBowl party that we went to. There were some very avid NY Giants fans, no wait, they were just Eli Manning fans. I have a secret hate for the Manning family. It isn’t secret so much as I can’t stand them. To show you how much I cared, I watched Amy’s wedding video along with mom, Amy & her mom. There were a few embarrassing moments for me; such as, rapping to “Hey Ya!” by (the best group ever) Outkast! The fact that I looked like a lush by holding 2 drinks. I really think that one was for Chris but I don’t know. Anyway, we had a great time and my poor mom!! She told me when she got home, her ears were ringing from all the screaming. Poor thing!!

Last night, Chris and I finally found something to watch together. It never happens. Did you see the Natalee Holloway special on ABC? Well, something about it didn’t seem right to me. Chris tried to get me to understand things, but just..I don’t know. I have a lot of questions about it; however, I don’t question that he was involved. I just have questions about the “confession”. I mean if somebody is asking you questions in a car, whether you know them at not, at some point don’t you say “hey, I don’t want to talk about this anymore”. I’m not a cold blooded killer, so I don’t know. Ugh, it’s just a sad story and Joran was VERY disrespectful and I think he is a very arrogant and egotistical person. It just made me mad.

Sometimes, a montage of clips like this makes my day. Somebody remind me that when I have kids, to not hop in their "kiddy" pool or take them down a slide.