The North Pole

So I just got back from the grocery store. I won't say the name of the store (not sure of the legality of it) but it's my new favorite grocery store. I realize that it's hot outside. Living in the south, it can sometimes reach over 100 degrees. It's humid. It's hot. Sometimes you just want to jump into a freezing pool - no matter what you're wearing. But guess what? It's so hot that the pool is like bathwater. BLECH!!!

Whenever the dogs stand at the door because they need to go out, I immediately think of a way to potty train them inside. I don't want to go out in the blistering heat. Anything that will keep me from doing that is awesome. If Chris is home, bonus. I might be able to persuade him to take them out.

It's hot. It's a billion degrees. You sweat walking to the mailbox or car. Having said all of that, why do restaurants, stores, offices have to keep it so cold. I am so cold at work that I keep a heater on under my desk. Oh yes. I know people who work outside are just screaming but I am freezing. At the grocery store today, the windows were all fogged up because it was so humid outside & freezing inside. I even heard a kid say "MOMMMY, we have to go it is too cold in here". Yeah I'm with you. I can't even enjoy a nice meal without wearing a sweater or ordering some soup. I hate the whole burning up, freezing game.

Can we turn the air up in places? I know it's hot outside, but not inside.

Really, I'm just typing all of this to kill time. It is pouring down rain & I still have groceries in my car. Think I can train the dogs to carry them & not eat them? NAH!!

Yes, I'm that person

Ok so we don't have kids. We will someday. But not for a few years. Chris has to finish school and I prefer that we live in a house with kids. Not in an apartment. We'll see what God has in store for us. Anyway, we have 3 animals and they are our kids. I heard this comedian on XM Radio the other day who was making fun of people who talk about their animals like they are their babies. I was in tears at this guy because I was like "Um, that's me"!

See, most of my friends have kids. I love them. I love to play with them. I love to get them all crazy & stirred up & then go home. It's one of the best reasons I love being an aunt too! Well, I have one friend that is in my same boat. (Name held to protect the worried & innocent) No kids, just cats. I love her cats. One is so sweet & he kind of has a pouty face (a la the Olsen twins). The other is so mean! It's the only cat that has ever made me bleed, thus causing me to be scared of her! We share animals stories & don't think the other is crazy. However, we talk about other things. We have made a pact to try to talk about other things in this life besides our kids once we have them. You know, baby strollers, play times, nap times, diaper times. Whatever. Again, I'm not knocking it because I'm not a mom. Being a mom is a great thing & I think it's a hard job. Stay at home mom's even get more props. I'm just not one right now. I get aggrivated if Bear has to go out when I'm watching Big Brother! (Sidebar: I think Stephen is going home)

So if you're around me & I'm telling you about how Happy is a sock thief and tries to dominate our entire universe, just tell me to stop. Perhaps you could just ask me about the weather or The Braves

"The bathroom here is nuts"

Ok so this weekend, Chris & I watched Hot Rod, with my most favorite actor Andy Samberg. He is HILARIOUS. We will totally buy this movie. It is cheesy and random. Hence why I love it. Some of these clips aren't intended for kids. Not that kids read this but you never know. Here are a few of my favorite scenes:

The "Two of Hearts" dance scene:


This is where he mocks the scene from Footloose where he "Punch Dances his rage". Hilarious!!


"I like to party"


The pool scene. "You know pools are perfect for holding water"


And "wHiskey" (there's some bad language in this clip). I also love "This is totally my hat" at the end.


If I put anymore up, I think I'll ruin the film. If you like silly, random films, this one's for you. Besides, who do you think would win in a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco? If you pick taco, that's pretty racist, but correct.

No one would make that connection

I’ve watched The Mole for years. They stopped having it on, but now it’s back and I love it. Aside from my huge desire to be on Big Brother and the fact that I’m a chicken to actually apply for a TV show, I’d love to be on this show. But I’d only want to go as The Mole. I’d love to sabotage things and make people lose money. Especially knowing I’m getting paid!! The person who I thought was The Mole, Alex, was eliminated on Monday & I almost had a heart attack. Crap! So now, I think it’s either Victoria or Paul.

Anytime the host or a cast member says “The Mole” I think of these clips from Austin Powers, Goldmember. In fact, Chris got aggravated with me Monday because I kept quoting them. Imagine that!

Gym issues

I've been going to the gym for quite some time. Most people that know me, are aware of my life long weight battle. I'm up. I'm down. I'm focused. I'm not. Whatever. It really just depends on the day. I go to the gym as often as I can. I actually enjoy it. However, over the past few weeks, I have noticed several things. I guess you can call this "Do's and Don't" that I've made up.

1. Cell phone: Leave it at home folks. I know in today's society, it's impossible to live without it. But an hour in the gym won't kill you. If you need to talk that much, stay home. Are you really getting a good workout on the leg press while talking to your BFF? Like OMG and LOL!! Seriously, there isn't anything going on in my life that can't wait at least 1 hour.

2. Attire: Ladies, put more on. It's ok to wear an old T-shirt and shorts like when we were in high school. In fact, I think that should be the standard requirement. Otherwise, you get 5 points (or dollars) taken off. A sports bra isn't a shirt. Sorry. If you bend over, I shouldn't see any part of your "business". (Side note: Please stop walking around the locker room in your birthday suit. This isn't your house) Oh & you don't have to have on make up, matching hat and matching wardrobe. It's ok to not look your best. Hopefully, you'll sweat so none of that really matters. Men, please stop with the spandex. Yes, I see it. If you have shorts over it, that's ok. I don't want to see your "business" either. Again, put shorts over it. Hats, is it really necessary? Is the sun in your face? I'm ok with a ball cap, but a toboggan? Come on. I swear I saw those last two yesterday - on the same person. Then again, he had a weird haircut. Trade the toboggan for a yellow helmet and he was ready for the short bus.

3. The mirror: The person that came up with the idea that it would be wonderful to have a mirror there, should be shot. I understand that you should watch your form, but it is nothing but a way for men to stare at whatever muscle is bulging or whatever hot chick is next to him. I have noticed that men watch women more than women watch men. It is a visual fact!!!

4. Sweat: Unless you are in major violation of rule 1, you should be sweating. You should have it pouring down. HOWEVER, can you please bring a towel to wipe it off the machines? That grosses me out to no end. Our gym even has anti-bacterial wipes all over so there is no excuse. In my spin class, it makes me so mad when people just hop off the bike & go home. Hence why I wipe it down before AND after I ride it. I mean, it takes 2 seconds.

5. Noises: I get it. It's hard. You're tired. You feel like your heart & lungs are going to pop out of your body. It's heavy. Again, I got it. Having said that ("I do have some thoughts" - anybody know what movie that's from?), please keep quiet. There is no need to yell out, breathe loudly, scream, holler or whatever. We're all in the same boat. We're all working out. I should not be able to hear you over Linkin Park's "Somewhere I belong" on my Ipod.

If you can't follow all of these rules, I suggest you stay home and eat some ice cream.

"NO AND THEN"

Recently, I was discussing movies and tv shows with other people. I was spouting out scenes/lines from different flicks and they couldn't believe I remembered such random things.

Such as "Oh, but Baby Fish Mouth is sweeping the nation" :


or "The Porkchop Express":


or "I refuse to play your Chinese-foo mind games!"


or "The Ribbon Scene"


It's amazing how much random knowledge I have!!!

Welcome back!

BIBI CAME HOME!!! WAHOO!!!! I was so excited when he did. I would've cried, but it was a little after midnight & I was exhausted. But as you can see from this picture, he has lost some weight. I took him to the vet this morning to get a check up. That was the best birthday gift I could've gotten.