I guess it is a technicality!?

Can I just say that I love fashion. I love to watch the fashion shows. For instance I love to watch What Not to Wear. I wish somebody would nominate me just so I can get Clinton and Stacey to help me. I know I don't need help, but I want it. (Side note: Chris will watch some of this show) I love the outfits in this picture, aside from the houndstooth shoes. Even though I want to, I know that I cannot wear that first outfit because it will accentuated my hips. They don't need help. They stick out enough already. Thank you genetics.

According to my calendar, it is technically fall. The first day of fall was last week. I get it. You (not you the reader but the proverbial you) love the change of season which means new clothes. Put up the shorts, tank tops and flip flops because fall is here.

I live in the south. It doesn't really get cold until maybe November. I can recall several Christmas' that I had on a t-shirt and was still hot. You just never know.

Having said that, ladies in the south, please don't break out your fall wardrobe yet. The high is still in the 80's!! You look quite dumb with boots and a sweater on when it's hot outside. I understand that many offices keep their air conditioning set on 65 so you need a jacket or sweater. I get it. I'm going to kill the person who keeps changing the air in our kitchen. But take the sweater off when you get outside. I mean, you look dumb!!! I'm not saying stay in your wife beater and Daisy Duke shorts, but there had to be a happy medium?! A co-worker and I make fun of people downtown that wear boots/sweaters. Believe it or not, I have seen it already. Please, get the message out there. Stop the madness. It's real simple folks. Dress for the weather and I won't make fun of you.

The Office: Weight Loss

I've decided to start giving my quick thoughts on the new episodes of The Office. Since I am so obsessed with it, might as well talk about it. If you don't watch it, I suggest you start so you can keep up with me. Here we go:

Last night's episode was the Season 5 Premiere and it was called: Weight Loss.

Evidently there was a contest over the summer between all of the branches of Dunder Mifflin. The branch that lost the most weight got 3 days off. However, it then turned to 5 days off.

I've been a big Jim and Pam fan since - FOREVER!! I'm so glad she didn't marry Roy. At the season finale, Jim was supposed to propose, but he didn't. Andy Bernard proposed to Angela and that deflated Jim's engagement bubble. We also saw how Dwight and Angela were caught getting busy. Back to Jim and Pam. They talked about it over the summer and since Pam was going to Graphics Arts School for 3 months, they didn't want to begin their engagement with her in another city. That is understandable!!! Jim couldn't wait any longer and asked her to meet him for lunch halfway between Scranton and New York. In the pouring rain, he proposed to her and it was very romantic.

Andy was busy trying to plan the perfect wedding for him and Angela because "Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding". Every time he went around Angela, she would pick up the phone. I didn't know what she was doing, but she was paging Dwight to have some alone time in the warehouse. Andy went through the universe to find a location. There was The Breakers in Rhode Island where his "parents decided not to get divorced". Then because she was so picky, he paid 4 non-refundable down payments on a hot air balloon, Epcot Center, scuba diving in the Bahamas and the Marriott Center Ballroom C. Angela replied "Dangerous. Tacky. Sharks. Haunted. No.". I mean just classic Angela answers. I'll be curious to see how far this engagement/wedding thing goes. I read that there will be 3 weddings before the season is over. As long as Jim/Pam are one, I don't care.

Then there was everybody's weight loss tactics. I had no idea this would be the episodes subject. But it started out with the branch attempting to gorge, but Dwight ruined that. On Monday, Oscar had a piece of grilled chicken and case of Diet Coke over the weekend. Andy didn't have anything since noon on Friday and Kelly was drinking some crazy concoction.

Here are my favorite lines/exchanges:

Andy (talking to Angela about hiring his a capella group for the wedding): "Ok, I hear you, sweetheart, but this is a deal breaker. But you know what? You're gonna love these guys. Carl 1, Carl 2, Rockley Rob, Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunch Box, Boner Champ, that's me, Pubie Lose and the News, Hopscotch, Jingle Jangle, Sandwich. These are the best best-man a guy could ever hope for."

Dwight: "This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna randomly select three names and these three people will get liposuction. Uhhhhh Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin. And you will be responsible for your own medical bills."

Michael as Michael Clump: " It's my sumo suit. I just didn't inflate it all the way. I am so glad that I bought instead of rented."

Pam: "I will be a little fish in the big apple. [does hand gesture] What up, 212?"

Jim/Dwight/Michael: "Dwight: Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow.Jim: [smiles, looks to Michael] Really, nothing?"

Creed: "That wasn't a tapeworm"

Michael: [rapping] I'm MC Mike Scott, and I am hot. She's DJ Jazzy Flax, and she is the best. All those sucker branches can suck our fat!
Holly: Wikka wikka wikka what?

Andy: "Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them... or he quits them because they are unfair."

Kelly:"[sickly] I am on the third day of my cleanse diet. All I have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water for all three meals. Um, I just bought some bikinis online, size 2. So ... gonna look amazing."

Ok I could go on forever. If you missed the episode or just want to watch it again, see below. FYI, you can watch any episode of any tv show you like for free over at Hulu .

New Fad!

For those of you who know me, know that I've battled with my weight all of my life. Always have and always will. I am not as big as I used to be and I'm not as small as I used to be. Again, I will always have this battle.

I've done it by myself, the natural healthy way. I've hired trainers. I've just done probably any crazy thing out there. But I know the best program for me is Weight Watchers . The other day, I got out all of my materials and just revisited everything that I know, but stopped doing. It's time to get to that goal I started like 8+ years ago. The goal was to lose 100lbs. I lost about 93 of that and was so close to my goal. However, I got engaged and married and thought I could eat what he did and when he did. Therefore, I put on some lbs. I'm not going to admit how much, but I have put some on. I have since learned that I cannot do that. I just simply ignored the scale and had to get bigger sizes.

I recently have just decided enough is enough. Time to get to the goal. As crazy as it may seem, I do this much better alone. I don't need a buddy or someone to tell me what to do. I just have to do it. I'll update my fabulous readers on my progress every now and again and will admit when I fail. I have some mini goals that I'm going to set. I think my first one is that when I lose my first 10lbs, I will buy a new purse. (SIDE NOTE: I saw the cutest purse yesterday at DSW. It was a red Nine West purse for $30. WHAT? I know. But that is a tank of gas in the car and getting to work is more important than a purse. Well, not really. I mean there is no price on cuteness; but I know that's Chris' philosophy) I've learned that it is best to take it 10lbs at a time. That is an obtainable goal for me.

I'm off to drink some water and think light thoughts.

Oh and this has nothing to do with weight, but was anybody else surprised about Clay Gaiken? No. I have a friend that I just wish would come out already. I don't know what his deal is. It wouldn't be a shock. I mean, he choreographed a dance for a party we had in high school. It was a 70's, 80's and 90's theme. The theme was also his idea. Yeah, the dance even had peel offs and if I heard 9 to 5, I'm sure I could do the dance again. Whatever. Oh and he recently went to Fashion Week in New York. Most heterosexual men would rather put a hot poker in their eye than attend an event like that. Not this guy. You enjoy your secret life, I know the real deal.

Busted Poooooocket...

So last night, Chris and I went and saw one of our most favorite comedians ever, Jim Gaffigan. For those of you who know us, you know that we are late to everything. I mean everything. It's mostly my husband!! He will be late to his own funeral, I swear. But what I have learned about Chris is that when he is excited about something he is on time or early. Write it down folks, we were in our seat 20 minutes early. That's right. The show started at 8:00 but we left the house at 6:30 and got some dinner. We were actually laughing about the fact that we left early.

The show was great. He did a bunch of new stuff that we had never heard. One of the great things about Jim Gaffigan is that his show is pretty clean. I don't think I hear him say one cuss word. His material is just everyday stuff that is funny. He was talking about camping and bowling. It was just hilarious. His most famous bit that he has is about Hot Pockets. Click here to watch a clip.

We had decided earlier that we were going to stick around for the meet and great. We had the camera and we even stopped at the grocery store and bought 2 boxes of Hot Pockets. I knew that wasn't an original idea, because on his DVD, Beyond the Pale, there is a special on fans bringing them. BUT, what I did do was tear out the back part of the box that talks about how they are "Good in so many ways". That way, we wouldn't have this big box and look stupid like other people did.

The show is over and evidently the line starts outside of the Alabama Theatre. Being a person that works downtown, I was just prepared for crazy people. I only saw one guy who was looking for the bus station. One of my co-workers and I joke about how that is just the crazy station. We are standing at the top of the theater waiting for the crowd to clear out. We see Jim and are so excited but then we see this fan that is jumping up and down looking stupid. We agreed NOT to do that. So we decide to go and get in line and we wanted to be towards the end. The line was kind of long and for a brief moment, Chris didn't want to stand in it. I gave him the choice of either waiting in line or going home and having a ticked off wife. He chose to stay. We were in line for about an hour and a half. Yes. This girl in front of me kept turning around and staring at us. I finally just stared back every time she did. I did not blink. I just gazed at her. What was her problem? Get out of my face!! These 4 guys in front of them had Chris & I dying because they were such tools. They were talking about different levels of a computer game and getting into the "trophy room" and then they had a discussion of which was better Longhorn Steakhouse or Texas Roadhouse. LOSERS!!!

So here we are, in line with goobers but we had finally made it inside the building. We can see Jim!! EEK!! We were internally screaming like kids, but outside we were just cool. I get our stuff out for him to sign and for whatever reason, he (Jim, not Chris) keeps looking at me. I don't know why. I would just smile and he smiled back. We're inching closer and closer. The 4 tools are with him. Chris has the camera read. The staring lunatic and her whatever are with him. WE'RE UP NOW!

Some guy takes the camera and we greet Jim. He looks at our Hot Pocket box and reads the "Good in So Many Ways" bit and I say "Yeah and it's Beef Taco. How delicious is that?" and he laughed. It wasn't a courtesy laugh, it was an actual laugh. I know because I saw him chuckle on stage and I know everything, right?! JIM GAFFIGAN laughed at me. Me! Chris made some comment and Jim laughed too. I couldn't believe it. He thought we were funny. We thank him for taking the time to wait so long and are moving on to take the picture. Here is the best/worst part. Are you ready?!

Time to take the picture. We get on each side of the camera and smile. 1, 2.........................nothing. Camera doesn't work. Are you seriously effing kidding me. The guy tries again. He and Jim are so nice and he tells us to just step aside and work on the camera. They don't make us leave but we are feverishly working on what to do. There is a struggle/argument of "I can fix it" from both of us. Chris wins and is working on it. We get it ready. We interrupt the line and the guy tries again. 1, 2.....................nothing again. The battery died. Are you serious!!! I quickly tell Chris to get out his cell phone. It works, we thank them for dealing with our madness and we leave. I am aggrivated but at least we have a picture and signatures.

Here's to you Jim Gaffigan and your bacon!

Items out and ready to sign

He signed them, WOO HOO!!!

Chris, Jim and me

New home?

Anybody want a dog? I'm going to kill Happy. He has now destroyed all of my couch pillows. Chris came home from work to a big mess. Oh & Hap is just trying to look all innocent but I see him. He is lucky I didn't come home to this because I would've opened the front door & drop kicked him!! I know Bear was watching it going "OOOH, you're gonna get in trouble". Happy has one more strike & he is out. First strike was my digital memory card. It had pictures of me with my grandfather at one of our wedding showers. It had all kinds of pictures. Second strike is this one:

He better watch out!

Hello Ike

Well, mom and I survived a hurricane. We left for the beach on Thursday and the only rain we got was on Thursday afternoon on the way. We stayed at The Beach Club in Gulf Shores Alabama and it was so nice!!! If you aren't familiar with the location, it's off the beaten path. However, we were at the beach. For a minute, we thought we would be at the bay, but luckily we weren't. The wind was so crazy. This picture was taken from my chair at the pool (there really wasn't any beach to lay out in because the tide was in) and it just doesn't capture how windy it was. I mean, I set my flip flops down and they blew away. I would lay in my chair and have to hold on for dear life. I was one of few people who were laying out because it was sunny - off and on. On Friday afternoon, we walked over to the Clubhouse and got some lunch and then did nothing. We read and confession - I took a 2 hour nap!!! It was too cloudy to lay out and we didn't want to chance the bay flooding. Why? Well, Thursday night after we got groceries, we were heading down the 11 mile stretch of road that leads to the resort. There is a sign that says "ROAD CLOSED 5 MILE POINT" and my stomach went into my throat. Turns out, we were on a road that takes you to the Dauphin Island Ferry and somehow it's related to that. We didn't know that until Saturday. Oh well. The tide was low so we walked on the tiny beach that finally showed up Friday night. We watched some movies, had a few cocktails and just did nothing. Saturday, we went to the pool and then went to Lamberts. MMMMM It was so good. Then we went shopping and then headed home. We packed up/cleaned up and watched the Coco Chanel movie. I really liked it and will probably watch it again. I have more pictures from that and the Nooney trip to the Alabama game LAST weekend, but I do not have my camera and the beach pictures are on moms camera. We had a blast and now I must unpack and try to cure my "Sunday Night Blues". That's a term that I used growing up about school. More pictures etc later.

I just got over a crazy cold. In fact I helped Mimi pack (dangit she is gone to St. Louis) when I was crazy sick. I just think it was hybernating because I started feeling bad on Friday afternoon. As long as I can remember, my throat hurts and then I get a cold. How does one get sick (not food related) on vacatgion?? Who knows. Well my throat started hurting but I don't know if it was just all that crazy wind or what. I don't know. Anyway, I'm off to unpack and hang out with my husband - that I missed dearly and my crazy animals. HOLLA!!!

The Traffic Gangsta

First of all, let me start with this: I was stuck in traffic this morning. I was so aggrivated but this was me:


I mean, I thought I was going to scream!!! But thinking of that clip from Office Space, made me think of another clip from that movie. I'm just a white girl from Alabama. However, I love rap/hip hop music. I don't know why. Sometimes the songs are stupid and about nothing. Amy & I talk all the time about how we could be rappers because you can rap about anything. For example, who knew the childhood game Marco Polo would be a song. But it is. Hey this is a perfect way for me to promote our new line of fragrances entitled "Cookies and Poo". Could you imagine? Geez. Anyway back to rap and this clip. It cracks me up!!
Editor's Note: WARNING - FOUL LANGUAGE (I couldn't find an edited version, sorry):

Peace out!