GROSS!!!

I saw this infomercial the other day and it grossed me out. If you don't like feet (Tim) then you might not want to watch it.

Ped Egg

There are several hundred things wrong with this infomercial. My response to the whole thing is this: JUST GO GET A PEDICURE!! I mean, while you're busy pouring your "fillings" out and saving money, I am gagging at the television. I actually yelled out "GROSS!" to the tv when I saw it. I am disgusted by this product. Scraping an orange, a balloon and my foot??!! What!!! Oh...ewww. I must go throw up now. I mean I'm all about saving money, but I'd rather go once a month and get my feet done. Otherwise, I feel like I have some crazy foot fetish - ewww!! I'much rather go in public and have witnesses that I am getting pretty feet.

Speaking of that, ladies, spring is upon us. Let's make sure we all go get a pedicure and get rid of our ugly winter feet. I need to call my mom and remind her because she doesn't read this. But she loves to get pedicures! You go mom! Anyway, it's just a small token that you can give to society. We all enjoy nice feet, so take an hour and $20-$25 and make a difference to the environment.

Digital Shorts

I love the Digital Shorts from Saturday Night Live. They are just so random. It's clips like these that just encourage my urge to be on SNL. Andy Samberg is a trip. I don't know why, but I just think he is so absolutely hilarious!!! Here are a few of my favorites. I do not think these are appropriate for kids, not that kids read my website.

Did you know they won an Emmy for this clip?
_ _ _ _ in a box

I'm Ghost Like Swazye!!
Chronicles of Narnia

Believe in your dreams!!! This is so random!
Andy Punching

Are you McSure...from before!!!!!!!!!??
Andy Walking

There are many other, but you can look around on NBC's website for yourself. Laser Cats 2 and Roy Rulez are pretty good too. Gotta go! Laundry calls (BOOOOOO!!!)

Bitter McGee

When I was younger, we moved around a bunch. My dad was a branch manager for a company and he got transferred a lot. I was born in Georgia, moved to Pennsylvania, moved to Kansas (for 9 months - my entire 3rd grade school year) and then Alabama. We have been here since. Eight weeks after we moved here, they offered dad a job in Texas but he turned it down. When we moved here, I was very hesitant to make friends because I thought we were going to move.

Anyway, I have so many childhood memories and I can honestly say, they are all good. Except for two. One is my fault. The other is my mom’s and they both transpired in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

It was a cold winter day…ok not really. It was my 8th birthday and my birthday is June 25th. I had a party and had a bunch of friends over. It was a typical party. We had cake and ice cream and I opened all my gifts. I’m sure there was a theme in there somewhere. Well, when it was over, my mother specifically looked me in my eyes and said “Do not take anything out of the packages until I get back”. She went outside to talk to some parents. My friends and I were sitting around looking at all of my gifts. I had a My Little Pony, a new Walkman, and a stamp set. I had other things too, but I can’t remember. One of my friends says “Hey, take that out of the box” and I tell her no. She then helps herself to taking something out of a package. At that pivotal moment, I should’ve intervened and put an end to it. But no. I didn’t. I just helped myself. I put on the earphones to my Walkman and did a dance like I was listening to music. You know, flaunting my stuff. Next thing I know, my mom is standing over me. I will NEVER forget that knot in my stomach and my friends staring at me. I just stared at her and she stared back. Cut to me being without all of my birthday toys for two weeks. For an 8 year old, that is an eternity. Before I got them back, she explained to me why she took them away and I could not argue. I ‘m sure I cried because I was 8. So mom, I’m sorry for not listening. That was very much my fault.

However…she owes me an apology and it all revolves around two words: PICTURE PAGE.

I used to watch Nickelodeon all the time as a child. The main reason is so that I could watch this:


(Side note: Is it me or does “Wellington” look like a Band-Aide more than a worm?? Why does Bill Cosby make that goofy face? Wait, I’m analyzing this from a 30 year olds perspective. My niece would think it is funny)

I wanted a Picture Page so bad. Yes, I understood that my pen would not make the “beep bo beep boo beep beep boo boo” noises when I drew. I didn’t care. I just wanted to draw with Bill Cosby and Mortimer!! What did I do? I wrote down the phone number and gave it to my mom. How nice was that of me? She wouldn’t have to do anything except call!! I specifically told her I wanted it for either a birthday or Christmas gift. I have no idea what time of year it was but it was one of those holidays. Mom told me no problem. I mean, I was a good kid for the most part. I had my ups and downs, but I was pretty good. Guess what? Never got the Picture Page. Not sure what horrible thing I did to make her throw away the number but she never ordered it for me. Hi. I'm Susan, I'm 30 years old and I’m still bitter because I never got my Picture Page.

A new finding...

Today was such a crazy day. But not in a good way. I was caught in the middle of a situation that had nothing to do with me. I wish I could even say that it was drama with co-workers, but it was not!! It had to do with one attorney who had issues with how much he was charging clients. The only thing I needed to know was the end result. Oh there was a meeting in the boardroom called and evidently, I handled myself "professionally". Um, thank you? How are you acting professional when you are sitting and basically watching someone pitch a fit? I don't know but I was so aggravated because it really didn't have much to do with me. Whatev....

These past few weeks, I have found myself watching Nancy Grace. Girlfriend is a trip. I think it's a humor factor, but something intrigues me. I wish I could pin point it. I really think it's because she asks such crazy questions and looks insane. Sometimes, I find myself on her side and kind of yelling at the television "YEAH! That's what I'm talking about!" Ok not really, but maybe in my head. Then there is her "trusty sidekick" Sue Moss. She screams like nobody has ear pieces and they can't hear her in Georgia - from New York. I don't know.

It doesn't take much to entertain me.

Semi-Weekend, rated PG-13???

This weekend was so great!! The weather was very spring-like. Friday we went out on a date! We had dinner at a local BBQ restaurant that we haven't been too in a long time. Saturday, we just sat around. While I was still in my pajamas at 4:45, Chris suggests that we invite mom and dad to dinner. We had some steaks in the fridge and could run to the grocery store for some baked potatoes. So, I called mom & dad up and they came. They were so thrilled to come hang out. Dinner was yummy!

Yesterday was just as beautiful outside. I got up and went to a local lake and walked around the track. It was just so nice and I never realized how much I looked like Casper the friendly ghost. Girlfriend needs a tan!!! Anyway, we saw Semi-Pro with Will Ferrell. It actually was pretty good. It wasn't his best movie, but it was pretty good. Wasn't aware that the language was going to be so intense, but I've heard worse. Definitely not a kid friendly movie. I got so tickled at Andre 3000!!! He just seems like he would be a fun person to have as a friend. It caused me to bust out Stankonia and listen to Mrs. Jackson on my way to work today. (Amy, do you remember when Adam said this was about Janet Jackson??) Anyway, one of my favorite lines from the movie was this "Oh I feel like I have cat piss in my eyes!! UGH!!!OWWWW!! _ _ _ _ sandwich!" Chris & I laughed going home. I really love Will Ferrell.

I just created a scaling system in my head, using chocolate bars.
1 bar = would never see it again
2 bars = wouldn't watch until it came on cable
3 bars = might rent it
4 bars = would rent it
5 bars = would own it

So, here's what I give Semi-Pro:






I'm no professional, so this is just my opinion.

I dare you..

So, things have been crazy these past few days. Chris has had a bad stomach bug and I have been fortunate enough (knock on wood) not to get it. He is doing better but he just feels very weak. I saw three movies this weekend, along with the Oscars. I watched "Gone Baby Gone", "We Own the Night" and "Good Luck Chuck". I have discovered that I am just in love with Mark Wahlberg! He is very good looking. But all of the movies were very good. I think out of all three, "We Own the Night" was my favorite. I like the whole bad person - turned good. Again, something about Joaquin Phoenix doesn't hurt either. Here's something you may not know. Casey Affleck (Ben Affleck's younger brother) is married to Joaquin Phoenix's sister, Summer. Both Joaquin and Summer are siblings of the late River Phoenix.

Anyway, I found this clip that has nothing to do with the above. I dare you not to laugh at it. There is no way you won't even crack a smile.

Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine. It is my favorite thing in the world. It’s one reason that I love Chris. He and I can easily make each other laugh and we also have the same sense of humor.

I really enjoy making people laugh. I have a co-worker that whenever she is mad, aggrivated or upset in anyway I can make her laugh. It's just a gift that I have. I'm no Dane Cook or Jim Gaffigan. I love people who have a very dry/witty sense of humor. People who don't think they're funny are the best.

I remember when I was in 4th grade, I would sit and think of jokes and tell them to my grandfather, Poppa. I made up one that I thought was so awesome so I decided to try it out. So, next time I saw him, I said, "Hey Poppa! What is George Washington's favorite flavor of Kool-Aid" and he wouldn't know. I would yell back "CHERRY!!". He would chuckle and then "boo" me. Yes, my own grandfather "boo'd" me. I thought that he thought it was funny. My brother probably said it was stupid but I thought it was genius!! Why? Well duh! George Washington chopped down the cherry tree! He liked cherry Kool-Aid! Ok, not funny at all. In fact, it is kind of dumb. But at the age of 8 (or whatever age a 4th grader is), all I knew is that it made him kind of chuckle. Not laugh, but chuckle. From that moment on, whenever I saw my grandfather on, he would ask if I had made up any more jokes. I would say "No" and then tell him the GW one. Next time I see him, I'll ask him if he remembers that. He's 92, so if he doesn't, I won't hold it against him.

Lately, I’ve been having brain farts. Searching for a subject to write about. Just nothing. I just decided that from time to time, I’m going to post some clips of things that make me laugh. So here's one:

Blizzard Man